I gleefully give my middle finger to anyone who sermonizes on the idea of a “morning routine.”

They say that people change over time. That maturity, or life experience, or, just adapting to new forced circumstances will, over time, inherently change who you are. Well, for some people, about some things, this may be true. But there is one thing about me (spoiler alert in the title) that I think will ever change— and that is not being a morning person.

I’ve made it to 42 years on this planet and I can most assuredly say that I don’t like waking up early any more now than I did when I was, well, ever.