Abandoning Habits and Embracing Routines Instead
In case you don’t know this about me, let me clue you in on something: I’m somewhat of a productivity nerd. It’s always been part of my DNA to get things done as efficiently as possible. I think I’m this way for three reasons:
1) it is a learned behavior. My mom was a school teacher, and my dad was a military officer. Enough said.
2) self-preservation to conserve energy and maximize performance. Being born with a physical disability meant I had to learn how to get more done with less from a young age.
3) I happen to enjoy it.
A few years ago, habit formation became very popular in the productivity world. It was spurred mainly by books by Charles Duhigg and James Clear. I’ve read Duhigg’s book, but only half of Clear’s. By the end of this post, you should understand more clearly why I didn’t finish Clear’s Atomic Habits.
On the surface, I find the topic of habits and habit formation fascinating. Primarily because of the way habits connect with the workings of the brain—neural pathways, conscious and subconscious cognition, memory formation and function, etc. By understanding the brain better, and how it works, the possibility of short-circuiting and maximizing productivity through habits can result in tangible results of self-improvement.
Sounds great, right?
Then why do I struggle with following a habit routine so damn much? I have tried multiple apps, notebooks, and habit-tracking tools. I have experimented with different kinds of habits: healthy habits, creative habits, and household chore habits. I’ve set high bars for tracking things I know I won’t like to do, like drinking a certain amount of water every day, to super simple tasks like taking my blood pressure medication, which, by the way, should be a slam dunk because I’ll know I’ll do it regardless of “tracking” it as a habit.
Still, nothing I have tried has stuck with me for the long term. I’ll start hot and heavy for the first week to 10-days and then splat— I’ll miss a couple of days and then say “fuck it” to the whole thing. Quitting can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is elating— the relief of letting go. On the other hand, it is incredibly disappointing— the feelings of failure and ineptitude can become overwhelming. It all leads to the same age-old question: is there something wrong with me?
I watched this video recently, where academic and YouTuber Elizabeth Filips lays out a defense for herself and others for whom habits aren’t part of their formula for productivity. In the video, she talks about she has learned to lean into a results-based workflow that works for her. She says that instead of focused, sustained, minor improvements over time, she is more of a sprinter and a crammer. She was the girl in school who procrastinated until the last minute and still aced the exam. She explains how she can maintain her life’s responsibilities and be accountable, but not by keeping a traditional calendar. For her, any flexible deadline may as well not be a deadline at all.
I resonated with that video because I feel like she is describing a lot of how I think of myself. While I was never the student who could slack on studying and still ace the exam, I am someone who has a hard time sticking to a long-term plan through slow and consistent iteration. And as much as I don’t try to intentionally procrastinate, I can achieve a higher level of performance by pushing deliverables right up until their expected deadline. In short, it was reassuring to hear from someone explain why they hate habits as much as I do.
So I guess maybe there isn’t something wrong with me, after all.
One more note about habits. When it comes to habit formation, I think there are two different types. One type is so simple and instinctual that you don’t even have to think about doing them. They are actions like reaching for your seat belt as soon as you close your car door or putting the cap on the toothpaste tube after you squeeze some out. You don’t think about these things. You just do them.
The other type are those which are really at the core of the practice of habit formation. They are actions you want to bring into your life that don’t already exist in some specific or consistent way. Habits like eating more vegetables every day or making your bed first thing after your feet hit the floor. They take effort because they are things may not naturally want to do, even if you know they are “good” for you.
I argue that there must be some intrinsic motivation or deterrence for a person to build these second type of habits. There has to be some kind of payoff. Indeed, in the habit loop, there is a reward stage, i.e., the payoff. The key is figuring out what that reward needs to be to keep the practice of continuing to build the habit. The ultimate goal is for whatever action you take to become so easy that it becomes, wait for it…. habitual.
The goal we all strive for in the productivity and self-help world is that all our desired habits can become habitual. Kind of that short-circuiting magic I referenced earlier in this blog post. Unfortunately, this approach to habits doesn’t work for everyone. It doesn’t work for Elizabeth, and it certainly doesn’t work for me, either.
That is why I have made a very intentional choice in recent years to switch from trying to shame myself into following a prescribed set of habits to instead, embracing my life’s natural rhythm of routines.
Routines For The Win
Even before I watched Elizabeth’s video about habits not working for her, I realized I needed to rethink how, if at all, habits could be a part of my daily life. I started to reflect about how I could lean into my naturally consistent daily and weekly actions and convert them into results-driven successes and increased productivity. Enter routines.
To start this process, I began by doing time tracking. I wrote down what I did every day and how long each task took. Over time, I began to notice patterns and routines. Every weekday started like this:
Wake up mid-morning (I’m not an early riser) and walk Alton right away.
Come home and do two to three chores before lunch because that is when I have the most physical energy.
Have lunch.
Head into my studio for three to four hours of work.
Take Alton on his afternoon walk around 4 p.m.
Finish up in the office and prep for dinner at 7.
Spend time with Drew from 7 to 10.
Then get ready for bed.
Observing this chronology of my daily activities provided a structure for an optimally productive day. Knowing that I’ll be too tired to do laundry in the afternoon motivates me to want to finish it early in the day. Accepting that my peak creative time is between 2 and 4 p.m. means I don’t even try to write a blog post at 11 a.m.
Of course, I have to be flexible at times. Not every day can be the same. I have meetings and appointments, and unexpected health issues can dictate the course of any particular day. I also schedule “errand days” where I batch all my errands at once. Batching them together saves time, energy and gas. But that also means by the time I get home I rarely have the time for anything else on my to-do list.
Speaking of to-do lists, I rarely make a to-do list any more unless I have more than three or four tasks to complete, or unless it’s something like a shopping list with a bunch of items to remember. For many of the same reasons that I stopped trying to force myself to follow a set of habits, I no longer feel the need to have a to-do list of tasks dictate my day— and, more importantly, how I feel about my day.
I believe there is a dark side embedded in all productivity methods, tools and techniques that I refer to as the “shame cycle.” For example, every time something new and shiny in the world of productivity doesn’t provide me with the desired (or promised) results, my reflexive inner dialogue is “What is wrong with me? Why won’t this work for me? I don’t have any discipline.” Rather than thinking, “Hey, this might be a good tool, but it just doesn’t work for me, and that is okay.”
The fact is there is nothing wrong with me. We are all individuals and there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to a productivity lifestyle. Elizabeth found her answers by reminding herself of what kind of student she was in high school and reapplying some of those techniques in her adult life. I learned how to let go of habits and embrace routines instead. I think the key for me was asking myself the tough questions and trusting myself to own that truth. That insight gave me the freedom to figure out what works for me and now I am more productive and happy than I ever was when I was trying to force myself to live a life of habits that I hated. That level of internal resentment is honestly quite exhausting. Letting go and moving on with what achieves results has been far more liberating and productive than I ever could have anticipated.
