All in Love Actually

The Magic of Marriage

The Magic of Marriage

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

Today is Valentine’s Day here in the United States, and while I know some people believe it is a wholly commercialized Hallmark Card holiday, I think it is always a special day to celebrate love. My love, of course, is my husband, Andrew. We met in the summer of 2004, and we got married in October 2007. Even though it has been almost 15 years of marriage, some moments it feels just like yesterday.

Note that I said it feels like yesterday. Major life events that have happened since we walked down the aisle tell me different. So I thought for this blog post, I would reflect on a few of those major milestones and how they have, or haven’t, changed my idea of what marriage is, or at least would be, for me.

DOING A MAJOR HOME REMODEL

In the Spring of 2012, Drew and I embarked on a significant home remodeling project. After much research, we decided that the best solution for us was to temporarily move out of our home while it got torn down to the studs and rebuilt. The new home would be bigger, newer, and more accessible for us both.

The Story of How Drew Proposed

The Story of How Drew Proposed

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

The first blog post I wrote for Jody Write Now is about Andrew and me getting married. I wrote it to memorialize that life milestone. I also wrote it to reflect on being a newlywed at that time. Going back and re-reading it today, 14 years later, I am reminded of that special time in my life. Now I want to tell the story of how Andrew proposed.

I'm somewhat of an enigma. I can be very progressive and non-conformist about some things, but I can also be very old-fashioned and traditional about others. My attitudes and feelings regarding all things marriage fall into the latter category, at least for myself. In other words, I know my way isn't right for everyone, but it is right for me.

Remembering my Mom: She Also Loved Extra Cheese On Her Pizza

Remembering my Mom: She Also Loved Extra Cheese On Her Pizza

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

It’s hard to explain exactly what 13 years feels like. You know how it is getting older: the days blur into weeks, and then into months, and finally into years. It feels so cliche to say, “time goes by so fast.” And yet it does, and it is. If someone had told me two, five or even 15 years ago that I would be parentless by the age of 43, I probably would have replied with a a certain amount of hubris, “no way!” Even though I’ve always known life to be inherently

Miss You Dad

Miss You Dad

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

Well, not writing about my dad’s recent passing hasn’t made the grieving process any easier, so let’s give this a try. It’s been quite a few months. I had already been struggling to keep up with my creative goals, when on June 6, I got the call no one ever wants to get. Even though Dad had been weakened by the completion of his lung cancer treatments, we all expected a full recovery (doctors and himself included). So when he passed away in his sleep

Romance Across the Digital Divide: The Story of How I Met My Husband

Romance Across the Digital Divide: The Story of How I Met My Husband

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

I never saw the movie "Sliding Doors" starring Gwyneth Paltrow, but I understand the premise of the plot line one that explores the outcomes of her life had one event happened differently. While I try not to overthink things, especially hypotheticals about life, this idea of one subtle change impacting the entire trajectory of one's life lingers in my imagination. Like pulling the lever in a pinball machine, one switch can send the ball on a whole different path.

The romantic hopeful in me believes that the Universe would have brought my husband, Drew, and I, together no matter what. But the realistic pragmatist in me says, ummm, yeah right. Considering the fact that we lived 3,000 miles apart from each other, are 13 years different in age, and (at the time) had very few reasons for our paths to cross, the fact that we actually did meet tells me I should give our romantic selves a big'ole high five.

The year was 2004. I was living in South Carolina at the time with one of my best girlfriends, Robyn. She was in college there and I was working at the local newspaper.

Sister Love: Thoughts on Being the Younger Sis

Sister Love: Thoughts on Being the Younger Sis

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

There are many first memories I have with my sister. A majority of them are from when I was five years old or younger. They are snippets of experiences that, looking back, I now realize represent the foundation of our relationship. The times I'd fall asleep with her reading me books in our parents' bed. When we play hide and seek and she'd always let me find her first. How she would reassure me when I got scared. In short, the overarching theme of our relationship then, and now, has been care. Leigh has always taken care of me, cared for me, in a sisterly-maternal way that is instinctual. It is a quality that makes her career as a childcare worker a natural fit. And made her a far better big sister than I am sure I ever deserved.

Leigh was four years old when I came along. Since my parents didn't have more children after me, I don't know what having a younger sibling is like. What did she think when I came onto the scene? To be honest I have never asked her that specific question. Maybe I should. I guess growing up I always assumed she was happy to have a baby sis. But my adult-self thinks that is probably not the case. I wouldn't blame her for feeling that way. Kids have so little control over their lives, and I'm sure my parents didn't consult her on their family planning desires. I was this new little creature that was now taking her mommy and daddy's attention away from her and onto me. It is a sibling story as common and old as time.

Missing Mom on Mother's Day

Missing Mom on Mother's Day

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

So yes, today is Mother's Day. And I'm wishing it was over. My mom passed away three years ago so she isn't here for me to call, hug or send flowers to. I have a lot of wonderful mothers in my life, and I do appreciate them, I really do. A part of me really feels like I should call my step-mom and wish her happy Mother's Day, but I just don't feel like it. I didn't feel this way last year, and I probably won't feel this way next year. But this year, yep, I'm abstaining from passing out some heartfelt Mother's Day love. Because yep, my heart just isn't in it. It's broken, missing my mom. And the cool thing is, that gives me comfort, because I know in my heart, my mom would understand.

Marriage Evolution: When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

Marriage Evolution: When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

Do you know what I wish someone would have told me about marriage? I wish they would have said that marriage is not just a journey, but rather, it is an evolution. It is an evolution of individuality and oneness all at the same time. It is all so fun when you first meet and fall in love. Life seems boundless with possibilities, and time seems like an eternity of bliss. Everything is so blissful on your "love cloud." And even though you know (because "they" tell you) that it won't last forever, you don't believe them. Blinded by love and enraptured with a palpable passion, life is filled with an emotion that you won't believe can't last forever.

Mrs. to My Mr.: The Day I Said "I Do"

Mrs. to My Mr.: The Day I Said "I Do"

Jody Yarborough
Love Actually

I am not sure how one measures success in terms of a wedding, but if success means you wouldn’t go back and change a thing, then our wedding was a total success. As The Hubs likes to put it, all of our hard work really paid off. I think planning a wedding is a test of the union that is to become. Along the way there are expectations that have to be discussed, compromises to be made, trust to be given, and an element of surrender released with the hope that everything will happen the way it’s supposed to.